2025: My Year in Review – Lessons from the Trenches of Cybersecurity Leadership

 

As 2025 draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on a year that has been equal parts rewarding and revealing.

Professionally, it was another solid step forward: deepening my expertise in zero-trust architectures, guiding organizations through complex HITRUST and SOC 2 journeys, mentoring emerging leaders, and continuing to protect the greater good in an increasingly hostile threat landscape. After 25+ years—from helpdesk technician to business owner to seasoned cybersecurity leader—the work still energizes me the way it did on day one.

Personally, though, 2025 brought something different: a deeper understanding of how my presence affects others. 

It’s a dynamic I’ve observed for years, and it’s nuanced—not black-and-white. 

The analysts, engineers, and emerging leaders I mentor? They keep coming back. They ask for more time, send follow-up messages years later, and openly say our conversations shaped their careers. They feel challenged, supported, and truly seen.

With peer leaders and executives, it’s different. Some connect deeply and become strong allies. Others maintain a polite distance. A few subtly pull back. The feedback, when it surfaces, is often “intense” or “direct.”

I don’t take that as a universal truth about how I land. I take it case by case. Because every person is on a case-by-case basis.

My CliftonStrengths—Learner, Relator, Responsibility, Command, Analytical—give me a consistent operating style: high ownership, evidence-driven thinking, deep investment in a few, and readiness to lead when needed. That intensity serves mentees beautifully—they’re hungry for growth and feel the care behind it. With peers, the same traits can land differently depending on the individual:

• Some leaders are secure, growth-oriented, and welcome the clarity—they lean in.
• Others feel unconsciously exposed by the standard, even when I’m collaborative and encouraging.

The difference isn’t just in them. It’s in how I read and pivot. I’ve learned to enrich relationships by adjusting in real time:

• With someone who thrives on rapport first, I start with genuine warmth and shared experiences before diving into substance.
• With a data-driven peer, I lead with evidence and invite their analysis early.
• When I sense hesitation, I slow down, ask more questions, give them space to shine, and publicly amplify their contributions.
• If politics or ego is at play, I stay professional, find common ground on shared goals, and let consistent results build trust over time.

I don’t dilute my standards. I flex my delivery. 

Relator means I genuinely want a real connection—so I pivot intentionally to meet people where they are. 

Responsibility means I own the impact of my presence and adjust when it’s not serving the relationship or the mission. Learner means I’m always observing, reflecting, and refining how I show up.

The result? Many peer relationships deepen over time. The ones that don’t often reveal more about alignment than about me.

Mentees love the unfiltered intensity because they’re ready for it—they want to be pulled upward. Peer leaders who eventually connect do so because they sense the pivots: the listening, the adaptation, the genuine intent to enrich the relationship, not just transact.

And the ones who keep a distance? That’s okay too. Not every relationship needs to be deep, especially when core values or operating styles don’t align.

What I’ve stopped doing is assuming discomfort means I’m “too much.” What I’ve started doing is treating every interaction as unique—reading the room, pivoting thoughtfully, and letting time and consistency do the rest.

If you mentor people who thrive under your style but notice mixed reactions from peers, try this: treat each leader as a fresh case. Observe what they respond to—rapport, results, shared vision, intellectual rigor—and pivot to enrich the connection on their terms, without compromising your own.

The right ones will meet you there. The alignment will feel mutual. And the relationships that matter most will grow stronger.

How do you read and pivot in peer relationships? What signals tell you how to adjust? I’m continually refining my approach—share your experience in the comments. I read every single one.

Protecting the greater good, one evidence-driven decision—and one relationship-enriching pivot—at a time. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!